


The night tells no lies

by Vita_Umbrarum



Series: The author chases plot bunnies around Camelot [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gwaine needs a hug, domestic knights, gwaine gets a hug, set between seasons 4 and 5, things are implied but nothing's graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23933632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vita_Umbrarum/pseuds/Vita_Umbrarum
Summary: Gwaine and Leon make a bet. Things go wrong and the knights learn that there is a lot they don't know about their resident drunk.
Relationships: Gwaine & Knights of the Round Table (Merlin), Gwaine & Leon (Merlin), Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin)
Series: The author chases plot bunnies around Camelot [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725211
Comments: 5
Kudos: 115





	The night tells no lies

No matter what Leon thought, Gwaine did like being a knight. Being a knight meant having a roof over his head, not having to worry about food and a bed to sleep in. He actually enjoyed their training, although the morning sessions were not his favorite. Waking up at the crack of dawn was terrible, even more so since Gwaine often found himself in the tavern until late at night.

\--

The last few weeks had been horrible; there had been multiple bandit attacks and it had rained for three days straight. When he woke up the sun shone in through the window, which was good since it meant the rain had stopped, but it was also bad because it meant he was late for training. Hastily he got dressed, trying not to wince at the pounding in his skull and ran towards the courtyard, he’d have to skip breakfast for today.

Luckily for Gwaine training hadn’t started yet, although it was obvious the rest had been there for some time already. Leon turned around as he heard Gwaine arrive and glared at the younger knight.

‘’Gwaine, how nice of you to finally join us,’’ the normally friendly greeting was practically growled by the first knight of Camelot. 

Gwaine grinned, turning to the rest of the group and spoke, ‘’Well, I’m here now, so why don’t we stop standing around and begin?’’

Leon quickly divided the group into pairs for sparring, to Gwaine’s dismay he got paired with Leon. On normal days Gwaine often won their matches, because of the tricks he learned that none of the other knights seemed to be able to replicate. Today, sadly was not a normal day. The burning sun and constant clanging of swords did nothing to alleviate his headache and his stomach kept quietly reminding him he hadn’t eaten since yesterday evening.

A particularly harsh blow from Leon snapped him out of his pondering, the older knight glared at him from under the helmet. Gwaine took a couple of steps back and tripped, either on a root or over air he’d never know but he suddenly found himself on his back in the grass with a sword at his throat.

‘’That is enough!’’ Leon tore the helmet from his head. ‘’If you cannot behave like a knight, you are not needed here. Leave, Sir Gwaine, and do not return until you are sober, if that is even possible for you.’’

Gwaine scoffed, ‘’I can be sober. You’re just pissed because I’m better than you even when I’m drunk.’’

On the other side of the courtyard Elyan bursted out laughing, ‘’Gwaine, he just easily beat you. Besides, you wouldn’t last a week without ale.’’ 

Some other knights started laughing, it was well known that Gwaine often complained during long patrols about the lack of alcohol. Most of the time the roguish knight even took some with him, for emergency purposes, as he claimed it.

‘’A month,’’ he said, while getting up and dusting himself off, ‘’I bet I can go without ale, wine and mead for a month.’’

The knights fell silent, Percival raised an eyebrow at Gwaine, then the knights bursted out laughing again. Gwaine glared at them all, did they truly doubt him that much?

‘’I’ll take up your bet, what happens if I win?’’ Leon snapped, the blond-haired knight seemed to be the only one who wasn’t laughing.

‘’I’ll take the morning patrols for a week, without complaining. However,’’ and here Gwaine grinned, ‘’if I win, you stop complaining when I’m a couple minutes late for practice.’’

Leon blinked and seemed to consider the entire deal once more, then he nodded. He held out his hand and Gwaine shook it. The morning bell sounded throughout the practice field and Gwaine looked up, still grinning.

‘’And that’s the end of practice, see you later!’’ He took off towards the kitchen, leaving the amused knights and a frowning Leon behind.

\--

The first week went by perfectly. No one had to haul him out of the tavern in the middle of the night, he showed up on time for training and patrols and he didn’t sleep off his hangovers during council meetings. Leon was very pleased with all this. If he had known this was all it took for Gwaine to behave, he’d made a bet earlier. 

Merlin was the first one to notice something was wrong. Gwaine was jumpier, reacted slower and joked less. Shadows had appeared under the knight’s eyes. Merlin was worried, but when he had tried to ask the knight about it he had laughed, grabbed an apple and wandered off. So Merlin went to Arthur, surely he’d call the bet off?

‘’Arthur, do you know about the bet?’’

Arthur looked up from his lunch, ‘’Between Leon and Gwaine? What about it, Gwaine’s finally acting like a knight and the rest seems to find it hilarious. I should have them hold bets more often if this is the result.’’

Merlin sighed, ‘’I’m worried, Gwaine looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Something is wrong and he won’t tell me.’’ He set the water pitcher down and flopped down in a chair. 

Arthur blinked, ‘’I’m sure he’s fine, he’s probably just moping around because he can’t go to the tavern.’’ Silently Arthur finished his lunch, both men lost in thought. ‘’You know what, we’ll go on a hunt, make it a two day trip. Merlin inform the knights of the table.’’ The young king walked out, presumably to tell Guinevere he’d be gone for two days.

Merlin groaned, he hated hunting trips, ‘’Sure my lord, do whatever you please, not like there are council meetings you have to attend,’’ he muttered. Stealing a piece of toast Arthur left on his plate he too walked out the door to hunt down the knights, there was a lot he’d have to prepare.

\--

The knights had managed to take down a buck and Percival was helping Merlin prepare it for dinner. For once the campfire was quiet since Gwaine wasn’t telling outrageous tales that probably never happened. Leon and Arthur were discussing something that happened during a council meeting and Elyan was off somewhere collecting firewood. Gwaine poked at the fire with a stick.

‘’Are you alright?’’ Merlin asked, as he put the stewpot on the fire, ‘’you seem rather, tired lately.’’

Gwaine flashed him a grin, ‘’I’m fine Merlin, don’t worry about it.’’ He looked over at Arthur and Leon, ‘’Shall I take first watch?’’

Leon nodded, it wasn’t often that the dark haired knight volunteered and everyone was quite tired. Elyan returned with more firewood and the group settled down around the fire. During dinner Elyan told a story from his travels which involved chasing chickens and a lost goat.

The day blended into the night and everyone went to their bedrolls to sleep. Gwaine stayed by the fire, his sword at his side. He turned his pendant and ring around in his fingers. He didn’t want to go to sleep. He didn’t want to be here. He had stayed for too long already, allowed himself to get attached to these men. He just hoped Arthur wouldn’t be too mad once he finally ran off. He dumped another log onto the fire and stared into the flames, softly humming a tune he learned long ago.

It was hours later when Percival stirred and got up, taking over Gwaine’s shift. ‘’Get some rest, you look exhausted,’’ the taller knight whispered as he pushed Gwaine to his bedroll.

Gwaine shook his head, but lay down anyway. He knew he wouldn’t get much sleep tonight, if any at all. Soon however his exhaustion took over and he drifted off.

\--

_The boy was scared, and cold. The mark on his thigh burned and he was hungry. Men were walking past the cages, one of them dragging a sword on the stones. The shrill sound filled the otherwise quiet room. Somewhere close to the door a girl started sobbing._

_‘’What about the new one? A bit young, but those still struggle and that’s what makes it fun, ain’t it?’’ a rough voice spoke. Malicious laughter filled the air._

_Hands were grabbing the boy now, dragging him out of the cage and to a different room. He didn’t dare to speak, his back ached from the last time he spoke out of turn. His limbs trembled with fear but he quietly walked with them. A door opened and suddenly he understood._

_He screamed, tried to run but strong hands descended on his shoulders. Pushing him on the ground, holding him in place. He screamed again and again until multiple kicks to his ribs stole the breath from his lungs. He whimpered and tried to break free once more, but someone was holding him down._

_Someone was holding him down. His eyes shot open and he drove his fist into someone’s jaw. The pressure on his shoulders disappeared and he surged upwards, to his feet. His sword, where was his sword? He blinked, the figures by the fire slowly coming into view. He took a couple of steps back, tried to get his shaking hands under control. Why were they shaking again?_

‘’Gwaine?’’

A voice pulled him out his thoughts, Merlin was standing in front of him. When did Merlin get here? Where was here even? He could see the sky getting brighter in the east, sunrise would be soon. Sunrise, Merlin, the knights, they were on a hunting trip, he just hit someone by accident.

‘’Gwaine? You with us?’’

Gwaine blinked and looked at the group, a bruise was forming under Percival’s eye. He’d had a nightmare. The others had tried to wake him up. He had punched Percival. He would have to answer now. 

He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again, ‘’I, uh, what happened?’’ he stuttered, his voice shook and he realized he had been crying.

‘’You were screaming, we were hoping you could tell us,’’ Leon said, his voice unusually soft.

‘’It’s fine,’’ Gwaine wiped the tears away, ‘’I’m sorry I woke you all up. There’s still a few hours until sunrise, we should go back to sleep.’’

Arthur frowned, ‘’Gwaine-’’

‘’Leave it Arthur.’’ Merlin interrupted the king, Gwaine shot him a thankful smile and sat down.

The group settled down and the knights fell asleep while Merlin kept watch. Gwaine didn’t sleep the rest of the night.

\--

When they returned to the citadel the next day there was an unspoken agreement that no one would speak of what had happened. When Gwaine disappeared immediately after they dismounted, they didn’t question it. They didn’t see him for the rest of the day.

The knights watched as their friend withdrew into himself, unsure if and how they could offer help. Gwaine spaced out during training, failed to pay attention during council meetings and vanished as soon as they were dismissed. He spent most of the day in the courtyard, either violently hacking away at the training dummies or staring at nothing in particular. Merlin was worried, the knights were worried, at the end of the week even Arthur was worried. Gwaine avoided them and ignored their questions. He knew that once he’d answer them, they’d ask him to leave Camelot and he didn’t really want to do that.

It went wrong the way it started. They were practicing, the sun was high in the sky and Gwaine had skipped lunch because he didn’t want to face their questioning gazes. He was fighting one of the newer knights, Galehaut. Some said he was the son of a giant, although Gwaine knew that was a lie since he started that rumor. Next to Galehaut even Percival would look tiny. Gwaine blinked, and stumbled over his feet. He was tired and blinked again, the clanging of swords and the laughter of the knights faded, Galehaut’s face twisted and became one of them. Gwaine flinched, backing up further, something was wrong, something was horribly wrong.

‘’Gwaine!’’ a voice roared, ‘’what do you are doing, come on, sword up, you’ll get killed like that.’’

Someone was yelling at him, someone was angry. It was bad when people were angry. His sword fell from between his shaking fingers, since when did he have a sword? Why was it so incredibly cold?

‘’No please, I’m sorry,’’ someone begged, perhaps it was him, ‘’I’ll, I’ll do better I promise.’’ 

His legs gave in, had he been standing? He ended up kneeling in the grass, there wasn’t supposed to be grass. He looked around, he was in the room at the end of the corridor, but there weren’t any cages and there was grass and it was all wrong. Someone was yelling at him. He didn’t want to get up, he was tired and by now he didn’t even care if they drove a sword through his ribs. Anything to get out of here, no one was looking for him anyway.

‘’Gwaine!’’

Someone was holding his shoulders. He screamed and flinched, effectively escaping their grasp. He scrambled to his feet, holding a dagger in front of him, when had he gotten a dagger? There wasn’t enough air, there wasn’t enough air, there wasn’t enough air, oh god was he finally dying? He opened his eyes, unaware he had closed them and found himself in Camelot.

Everyone was staring at him, Arthur standing at the front, his lip bloody. Had Gwaine done that? He couldn’t remember and he still couldn’t breathe and everything was wrong. Gwaine dropped the dagger and ran.

\--

By now Sir Leon was regretting the bet. At first it was funny, and it had been useful, since Gwaine didn’t spend the castle’s treasury in the town’s taverns. Now, it had reduced one of the bravest knights he knew to a screaming, crying mess in the middle of training. To make matters worse, said knight had run off, and no one seemed to be able to find him. The taverns, the knights barracks, the stables and Gwaine’s room had all been checked, twice. Servants and knights roamed the castle in search for the missing knight but it had been hours and Leon was losing hope.

Elyan came running down the corridor, ‘’Leon! Merlin found him, they’re in Gwaine’s room right now. Arthur wants the everyone of the table there.’’ 

Leon smiled, ‘’Good, you get Percival, he should be at the stables. I’ll meet you there,’’ the older knight said, turning and walking off towards Gwaine’s chambers.

Leon had a few ideas of what might be wrong with the younger knight and he hoped, prayed that he was either wrong, or that Gwaine was willing to explain. He had seen good, noble and courageous men waste away because they refused to talk due to shame.

He pushed the door to Gwaine’s chambers open and found that Gwen, Gaius, Arthur and Merlin were there already. He could hear Percival and Elyan approaching behind him. He stepped into the room and spotted Gwaine, who seemed to be trying to disappear into the wall he was sitting against. Leon sighed, this was not going to be easy.

\--

‘’I ran away from home when I was fourteen, spend some nights alone and on the roads. Sometimes I snuck into stables or taverns. After a few months some slave traders caught me, I refused to tell them who I was so they never sent anyone out for a ransom. Not that anyone would have paid, but it meant they could do whatever they wanted with me.’’ Gwaine shuddered and pulled down his breeches a bit, showing them a brand mark on his thigh. ‘’I was their plaything for two years until I escaped. I still have nightmares from it, getting drunk enough to forget my own name seems to suppress the memories.’’ 

He didn’t have to explain just what happened in those two years. They had all seen the scars on his back that he refused to talk about, they’d heard the broken pleas and whimpers, they knew what it meant.

They just hadn’t wanted to accept it. Not Gwaine, who reacted to everything with a laugh, who complained about food and set his own socks on fire. Gwaine, who refused to listen to orders, who could cheer up a room just by being there. Gwaine, who, although he told ridiculous stories about adventures while he was a wanderer, they knew nothing about. How could they have been so blind?

Leon got up and crossed the room in maybe two paces. He pulled the younger man into a hug, Gwaine stiffened at the contact but practically melted into the embrace once he realized Leon wouldn’t do anything. He didn’t hug back, just lied there, obviously exhausted.

‘’I’m sorry, that we didn’t notice. That all this happened, believe me, I’m sorry.’’

‘’s’not your fault, you couldn’t have known. I’ve gotten good at hiding’’

Merlin sat down next to Gwaine, Arthur slid down the wall on the other side. Leon could hear the others settling down on the floor around them. 

‘’Will you tell us one day? All the other stories?’’ Elyan piped up from somewhere behind them.

‘’Sure. I met a dragon once, might have been drunk so I’m not sure if it was actually one. Might have been a really big lizard, or a horse.’’ Gwaine muttered against Leon’s shoulder.

Merlin giggled on his left, while Arthur snorted.

‘’Tell us later, you should sleep now Gwaine, it’ll be alright,’’ Gwen reassured the almost asleep knight.

‘’I and Merlin can make a sleeping draught if needed,’’ Gaius added, ‘’but I imagine the bed would be more comfortable than the floor.’’

‘’Floor’s very comfortable, have had worse,’’ murmured Gwaine. 

Leon let out an amused snort and lifted the knight onto his bed with Arthur’s help. Slowly and silently they all retreated towards the door.

‘’Stay? At least one of you?’’ the voice that asked sounded more like a terrified child than the brave and loud knight they knew.

The knights looked at each other, in the end Merlin and Leon stayed behind. Merlin sat down on the bed next to Gwaine’s head, Leon sat at his feet. Merlin combed his fingers through the now sleeping knight’s hair while Leon removed his boots.

‘’Did you know?’’

Merlin looked up, ‘’About this?’’ he shook his head, ‘’I suspected something but not this and I never asked. Figured he’d tell me when he was ready. There’s a lot about Gwaine that we don’t know.’’

Leon let out a sigh, this whole situation was far from okay, but it’d be fixable. One day, perhaps, it’d be alright again. As first knight of Camelot it was his duty to make sure all knights were okay, and Leon was damn well going to try his best.

**Author's Note:**

> yes this implies Gwaine met Kilgarrah but was incredibly drunk at the time so he doesn't know for sure.  
> Find me on Tumblr at @spaceacepirate


End file.
